8:19pm Cell rings
The Boy: (pissed) Hi. I wasn’t paying attention and this fuckin driver got onto [X] Parkway not [X] Avenue. He’s swearing that they’re the same! Do you know how to get back there from here?
Me: (doing a really good job of staying calm…if he wasn’t over an hour and a half later than originally planned this wouldn’t be such an issue) Well, I could find my way but I don’t think I could give directions to someone who’s that confused.
The Boy: Alright, I’ll figure it out. (click)
8:33pm
The Boy: We’re at [X] Avenue. Do we take a right or a left?
Me: Probably a left. What’s your cross-street?
The Boy to Driver: (yelling) I can’t get directions from her and talk to you at the same time!
The Boy: I can’t talk to you both at the same time. I’ll be there soon.
8:44pm No word. I call
Me: Where are you?
The Boy: Waiting for the cops on the corner. (bellowing) This fucker’s threatening to kill me! In two minutes, I’m getting out of this car! Fuck him!
Me: Alright.
I walk down to the corner. Two cops are trying to talk sense into these couple of lunatics. Between the driver and The Boy, not sure who’s more of an ass.
The issue is the reduced fare. Driver won’t let him charge it, since it’s not the full amount and The Boy needs to get cash. The negotiated amount rises and drops but finally the driver gives up and accepts the lower cash payment. The Boy throws the two bills across the hood of the car dismissively:
“Here, asshole. Go to hell.”
The cops, who have done a masterful of mediating, chastise The Boy:
“Now that’s not nice.”
“You’re right, officer,” I agree, glaring at The Boy and swatting him on the shoulder, “That wasn’t nice at all.” “Thank you, officers, for your help.”
On the walk home, I calmly explain to my child lover–he’s 29 but behaviorially, closer to 5–that it’s in his own best interest to try and calm down rather than to stoking wildfires…save the animal and domesticate him.
In my bedroom.
So I pulled the beast home by the leash and taught him an awfully good lesson.
Between his bark and his bite, it’s a toss-up. I adore them both, when they’re all for me.
